MY MUGSHOT (2012-ish)

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A psycho my daughter was dating for awhile called to ask me—over the phone instead of in person— if I’d give my blessing for him to pop the question.

I wouldn’t.

Like I said, he was a psycho (pill popping bi-polar narcissistic wack job).

Not long afterwards he called again, clearly high off his ass, and proceeded to chew me out—swearing, making all kinds of threats, including coming out to Pineapple Hill that night to “get” me.

This triggered an equally high-off-my-ass (well, I’d a few rums) head spinning, word sputtering, counter threat that included my saying something along the lines of “bring a wet vac so I can send your bits home to your momma.” Or something to that effect.

I was arrested a few days later, the charge being Unlawful Use Of A Phone. The other inmates never heard of it, thought I’d beat him up with my cell. As if it were a brick.

Ever been to jail? It was a roller-coaster ride for sure. All six hours. Until Marianne (aka Crystal) and Mr and Mrs R bailed me out.

Charges were later dropped and expunged. My daughter left the guy. A fairy tale ending.

All that’s left is this photo from the summer I wrote Blue Rubber Pool.