Remembering Koi Frozen

I found this photo of my younger self sailing across a frozen lake near Rockford, Illinois, where I spent my high school years. It reminded me of an even younger me visiting a frozen water fountain at the Boyle family house in Sumter, South Carolina, during my grade school years. Frozen water was a rarity at there unless it came out in a tray from the freezer.

Next I remembered having written a poem about that experience. I found it where I find all my doodles and miscellaneous writings: in a moving box from the liquor store. I jotted this one down during my second year at Pineapple Hill:

remembering koi

Henry and Butter Bean are here to gather hay

same grasses I’ve watch stir like waves

of long ago and faraway

same field I’ve walked through

fog at dawn, the dog paused

over a scent.

Henry and Butter Bean are stopped

way down by the woods

their machine broken or are they

discussing things I let go

trees fallen on fences

the broken gate

weeds, small trees, and dog bane hemp.

I didn’t care. My daughter left.

“Goodbye. I hope you die.”

and I was stuck

watching an idling engine

remembering koi

the year it snowed in Sumter

my young self on hands and knees

peering into a fountain frozen

wondering would they ever wake.

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